Coach Murders Girlfriend
In Calgary a heartbreaking story that began with a 22year old soccer male coach and one of his 14 year old girl players. Their illicit relationship continued for 8 years until the now 22 year old young lady ended the affair. Sadly and inexplicably, the coach/boyfriend then murdered her .
In all youth sports, romantic relationships develop between many coaches,parents and in some cases , unfortunately the players. Some relationships are healthy , if both parties are single and available and in many cases lead to marriage. However, in my 28 years in youth soccer in San Diego I have witnessed many unhealthy relationships develop which have led to broken marriages, lost coaching jobs and even jail time.
Because of the nature of the competitive youth soccer world, coaches often become extremely close to both the players and their parents. Often the coaches are invited to family parties and celebrations, being accepted as part of the ”inner-circle.” At away Tournaments the players, coaches and parents often stay at hotels together, with time in the evening to socialize in the restaurant or bar. These circumstances are usually good for building team morale and helping the coach and parents develop a strong bond together. Unfortunately, in some instances the relationships develop inappropriately, leading to devastating events, where the distraught husband, like the one described in my book, loses control totally.
Monitoring and controlling potentially explosive personal relationships, within a competitive youth soccer program often falls to the Head Coach/Director of Coaching – oftentimes unwillingly. It is tempting to ignore the difficult, embarrassing situation and hope it will ”Go Away” When the situation eventually explodes, it often damages far more people than just those in the relationship and can seriously undermine the Club itself. Recently, a Southern California Tennis coach conducting an illegal relationship with one of his young female students was arrested and his colleagues dismissed for choosing to ignore the situation they were aware of .
Awareness is the first key to avoiding, or correcting potentially damaging relationships within your soccer club. The need for the coaches to understand their professional duties and responsibilities to both the players and the parents.
Temptation will always be present,when you have young athleticsoccer coaches-often from foreign countries-working closely withtalented young athletes and attractive parents. Managing the situation and avoiding the pitfall, is the challenge for Coaching Directors and the Board of Directors of the soccer Clubs-UNFORTUNATELY!
Jeff Illingworth
